No one prepared me for it. How could they? The intoxicating love that was unlocked at your birth. Raw, painful, overwhelming. In that moment, my life had purpose. I had been given the most precious gift of all. I became a mother.
Motherhood: every emotion cocooned in a shell of fierce protection.
Love. The dam broke and the love poured forth. So much love it sometimes feels like pain. Watching you learn, walk, stumble, run, fall. Being there to pick you up and keep you going. Wanting to wrap you in cotton wool but knowing that you have to be exposed; to learn to fail as well as win.
Joy. The happiness bursting at the seams as I watch you grow. Seeing your face break into laughter; hearing you sing thinking no-one is listening. You fill me with a joy I didn’t know existed. Pure, rich, exquisite joy as I see you embrace life and live it to the full.
Fear. That sick to the stomach churning fear that anything could ever hurt you. Illness, pain, loss. It will happen, that I know. And all I can do is nurture your courage, resilience, belief and faith. To teach you to be strong and brave but know it is ok to cry. It is always ok to cry.
Desire. For you to be the very best man you can be. Kind, learned, committed, happy. Hoping I have put in place the building blocks for a future rich in love and laughter. Lighting the touch paper and fuelling your passion to live, to learn, to do good things.
I will fight for you, protect you, care for you always with the fierce, roaring pride of a lioness.